Dharma Wars: When Tibetans argue and White people cry "Victim!"

Recently, there has been a bit of a crisis within the Karma Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism. The location of the crisis is New York, and so it does effect the Western Buddhist sangha.

I won't go too deeply into the crisis, but according to popular belief (which may or may not be the actual cause) A Tibetan from aristocratic background and lifestyle got upset about his lawn not being mowed and fired a non-Tibetan manager. A Tibetan lama then resigned from his position at the monastery, one thing led to another and that lama was effectively banned from teaching at that monastery or any of its affiliated centers. A lot of people believe that the aristocrat's anger over the lawn mowing incident led to the banning of this Lama. This may be partially true, I don't know. But that is the general belief.

**IMPORTANT NOTE: After speaking with several people it came to light that, although the so-called "Lawnmower Incident" may have been a contributing factor, there were also theological reasons behind the decision at hand. I won't elaborate on them here since I don't know all the details, but trust me in saying that it's far more complex than most people will lead you to believe**

The response by many western people, including at least one popular and widely read Buddhist blogger have been accusing Tibetans of abusing the western Buddhist sangha. One particularly memorable quote read:

"thanks to the failure of Tibetans to accept Americans as their equals. It is as simple as that. We are peasants to them."

The first thing that struck me as odd was, aside from the initial manager who no one is talking about, the victim in this case is a TIBETAN Lama, and his aggressor is a FELLOW TIBETAN. In short, this is infighting. With "In" being a key component of that word. How is it that when the victim is a Tibetan, westerners are complaining about being the ones abused?

This is also, clearly, an unfair generalization of 6 million people based on the inappropriate actions of a few. It is a clear example of a minority figure's action representing the entire minority while a white person's action represents the individual.

Many are pinning this as a racist issue (Tibetans versus Americans) as compared to the class structure issue that it actually is. Does anyone really think it would be any different if it were a Tibetan who had not mown the lawn? For that matter, westerners in positions of respect who perceive disrespect tend to respond in the same way, yet we wouldn't generalize all westerners in such a manner. (I'm inclined to remember my private school headmistress who summarily fired or refused to renew contracts of teachers who disagreed with her... )

How is this that when one aristocratic family acts poorly and we can generalize all Tibetans, and yet when westerners in positions of power (school, religious authority, etc...) do the exact same thing, it is the act of the individual?

I chose to respond to the blogger, hoping that other readers would see this. I received one positive response, a blogger who wrote that the original writer should have been more careful with his words. But the original writer also responded.

"It can only be resolved by Tibetans, from the top down, the intervention of His Holiness himself leading his Tibetan disciples and representatives into the 21st century reality of the Karma Kagyu in this country.

This isn't Tibet.We're Americans. Treat us like KTD is, like a bunch of peasants, banning a beloved teacher for siding with a Western lay person over an Tibetan aristocrat is the straw that broke the camels back."

In one paragraph he states that it is a Tibetan issue, but in the very next one he again turns it into Tibetan vs American. Treating us like peasants, Western lay person versus Tibetan aristocrat.

The many people who are making this argument completely fail to discuss, or even look at, the theological or situational backing behind the decision to ban (very complex on both counts, as I later found out.) Not only are they mistaken about the cause, but they are making the problem worse. Instead of discussing the actual reasons and therefore being able to petition for change, they chose instead to cry "victim" and completely ignore the issues at hand.

I personally am upset about the ban, but I am about 100 times more upset at the idiotic and racist response by so many western Buddhists who have chosen to blame all of Tibetan culture and pretend to be the victims in this situation instead of try to learn the real cause behind the decision and help the Lama in question.


Finally, the congregation of this Buddhist center, although largely westerners also has many Chinese, Taiwanese, and of course, numerous Tibetans. All of them are being effected by this ban. The Tibetans may be effected even more so due to family connections and social pressures to completely shun this lama in accordance with the banning.

So, if this IS the result of the "Lawn Mowing Incident" as it is now being called, then this is a case of aristocrats treating EVERYONE below them like "peasants" as our writer says. Including numerous Tibetans. Yet, as we so commonly see, this writer and the many others feel as though it is us, the poor westerners, who are being so horribly abused by these terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Tibetans.

...and people wonder why I refuse to go to Buddhist centers in the west.

Breaking down a Tirade: Common Racism against Tibetans (and others too)

In Pongu’s article Help, my bingo card is over flowing on the first day!, he posted a tirade that was sent to us via the comments. I also had a chance to see the original facebook thread (42 comments, all but 10 of which were by our tirader, whom I shall call T.) Let it suffice to say, this was only the tip of the iceberg.

Inadvertently, T provided us with perfect examples of common problematic themes perpetuated by outsiders involved in Tibet. I’d like to use his own comments as a starting point for discussion of these issues. Some of these issues are important from a wider discussion of racism, while some are very specific to the Tibet issue.


“However I think that this blog perhaps starts out with a "Tibetans are superior, white people don't understand them, Tibetans can do no wrong" attitude. This is exactly the kind of reverse racist attitude (against your own culture) that is the MOST disempowering -- to non-Tibetans.”

-Automatically judging and feeling threatened by anything that is perceived to criticize westerners, even without cause-
This comment was made before there was a single content post on the blog. He decided that any criticism of white people was automatically anti-white racism, despite having seen none of the criticisms themselves.
-Whites must always be superior-
His message here is clear, white people must be on top. Perhaps they may be ever so gracious as to share their post at the top of the pedestal with Tibetans, but any possibility of criticizing westerners is judging others as superior, and god forbid white people be anywhere but the top of the pedestal….even outside of a white country and community. This is continued when he says “it creates a lot of false power structures where Tibetans are inherently superior.” Let’s be honest, the Tibetan issue is about Tibet and Tibetans, not white people. Therefore, within the context of the Tibetan issue, Tibetans are the ones whose views matter.


“What about criticizing the Tibetans for their rampant racism, constantly taking advantage of western people, hypocrisy, etc. etc.?”

-The Fallicious Flip-
See the definition in the hyperlink. This quote is a perfect example.
In short, he feels that westerners should be beyond individual rebuke, simply because he feels that Tibetans are racist or take advantage of people. Instead of addressing the issue at hand (problematic actions by non-Tibetans), he flips the question onto a different topic as a way of derailment.
The fact that his claims of ‘rampant racism,’ constantly taking advantage of people, hypocrisy, etc. etc.’ are clearly the overstatements of a person disillusioned with the fact that Tibetans aren’t all enlightened monks is the topic for another essay. Yes, there are a number of Tibetans who do bad things, just like there are many white people who do bad things, I’ve been on the bad side of that more than once myself. However, we as outsiders have the privilege of being able to leave Tibetan work and communities whenever we like. We are not even guests, we have forced ourselves in, whether for good or bad purposes. Therefore, it is our duty as outsiders to self reflect and keep ourselves in line. If we are unhappy, we, unlike Tibetans, always have the privilege to leave.
This attitude is furthered by his statement: “Ultimately it's talking about how Westerners are the ones making mistakes, how they make mistakes, etc. It is not talking about how Tibetans make mistakes in relation to Western people.”


"And it seems to start out with the premise that how Tibetans make mistakes is irrelevant, and they are not to be held accountable for their actions. Why? Because they are an oppressed people? Because they don't have a country?Because WE are the one supposed to helping out THEM (even though they are supposed to be the ones with all the altruisim right?)"

-WE and THEM-
[I would like to note that I have not, in any way, edited the quotes, except to put them into italics. All capitalization and so on are his and his alone.]
In his continuing rant (previously viewable on my friend's facebook page, and now deleted), he goes on about how he lives in Tibetan communities, speaks Tibetan and so on. Yet here, he makes a clear distinction in capital letters between WE and THEM. This is a common white tendency, to make a big distinction between 'me' and 'other', we/them is white-solidarity versus othered POC.

-Confusing owning up to racist behavior with owing people something-
This blog, as declared in the guidelines and first introductory post, are simply about outsiders realizing and owning up to our own inappropriate and problematic behavior. We aren't saying that anyone needs to help anyone else, but simply that inappropriate behavior is, well, inappropriate! No one is telling him he HAS to help Tibetan communities, however, he has made the conscious and voluntary choice to live, work in and help Tibetan communities.

-Stereotyping Tibetans as 'altruistic' (the Shangri la Mentality)-
Even among the best intentioned, most stable minded Tibet supporter, Dharma student, et cetera, this is rampant. The idea that Tibetans are perfect Buddhas and must behave as such. It seems like a positive statement, but lets break this down. This is racist! It is saying "As a result of your RACE, you should behave in the following manner. " Sounds pretty racist, doesn't it?

Later on in this rant, T openly claims that he is beyond this stereotype and sees Tibetans accurately as they are, and recognizes this as an inaccurate stereotype, and yet here he is saying that Tibetans are the ones supposed to be altruistic. This is common in virtually all instances of racist behavior. A person claims that they (logically) know that a stereotype is false, while in their actions and statements showing that they firmly believe this stereotype and expect the other race to behave in that manner.


"Tibetans are very widely seen extremely idealistically, by the majority of the Western Tibetan Buddhist scene and it would seem also the Western Tibetan rights scene. This idealism make us subservient to the Tibetans and literally disempowers us."

-Thinking it's not our fault for idealizing Tibetans-
The idealized stereotype of Tibetans was created not by Tibetans, but by foreigners. We created this idea. He claims that it disempowers us. We created this idea, we as outsiders created a false stereotype and chose to live by it. We cannot blame Tibetans for our own racism and creating a system which he claims disempowers us. In reality, it disempowers no one. It is case of people abiding by their own incorrect, racist viewpoints. That's not disempowerment, that's racism and ignorance.

"The Tibetans' racism, xenophobia, sense of cultural superiority, and most notably their almost inexcusable ignorance and lack of interest in other cultures and their politics is arguably what made them lose their country in the first place -- Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche and others have said this. Tibetans are quite prone to use Westerners for money in great variety of ways, and at this point this should be well known. Many Tibetan lamas, rinpoches, and monks basically are more concerned with making money than your enlightenment. Tibetans guys generally see Western girls as an easy f*ck and a passport/visa, Tibetan girls generally see Western guys as a passport/visa."
-Making sweeping, racist generalizations-
The passage speaks for itself.

-When non whites do it, it's the group, when whites do it, it's the individual-
If a few Tibetans do negative things, he feels it represents all Tibetans. Yet, when some white people do negative things, its always seen as an individual responsibility, no matter how widespread the action is. This applies in virtually all racism cases. Like people who say that black people are thugs or druggies, however, when several white people are also involved in gangs or drugs, it's individuals, not white culture. It's unfair, no matter how you slice it.

-Quoting a Tibetan authority to make your case, in a completely different context-
The simplest way to explain this is a more common example. A black activist speaking to the black community encourages black men to be good fathers, and racist white Americans say "See! All of these problems are caused by black people being bad! Even [insert black activist here] says that they are bad fathers!" T, if you are reading this. I'd like to see the original quote in context, please!


"Tibetans often act with total disinterest to Westerners"

-Feeling that Tibetans are obliged to be interested in/interact with Westerners-
This is a Tibetan community, we are invading their community, for better or worse. If they want to live within their community and their culture, this is their right. They are not obligated to show interest in Westerners, hang out with westerners, or anything else. Tibetans are doing their best to preserve their culture and make a Tibetan community outside of Tibet. If people like this cannot be respectful to them and their culture, I see no problem with Tibetans choosing not to interact with them.


"I am not saying that Westerners are not really ignorant of Tibetan culture (we are, even those who are dedicated to helping Tibetans and are deeply involved in Tibetan Buddhism), but the Tibetans by constrast are just as much or even more ignorant of our culture and often do not attempt to understand it, either."
-Feel Tibetans are obligated to learn Western culture-
OK, similar to the last point. But what makes this important is that these are not Tibetans in the west that we are talking about, or that the writer (living in a Tibetan community in India) was talking about! Westerners living IN Tibetan communities should be obliged to learn Tibetan culture, in the same way I would expect someone living in my home to abide by my house rules. I think I can express this better in an example, albeit a slightly flawed one. [as noted, we are not guests, we've invited ourselves]. If I were to visit an orthodox Jewish home, I would be expected to follow certain rules. No unkosher food in the house, no miniskirts, no talking about sex in front of the kids. It would be inexusably rude if I came in and said to my hosts "You need to learn about MY way of life. Stop wearing your hat, stop wearing your long skirts." It is not my place. I would expect others to respect the rules of my home and community, even if they did not adapt to my way of life because it is not the same as their own, I would expect them to respect it. On the other hand, westerners like T, an outsider here, somehow believe that Tibetans within a Tibetan community have an obligation to follow the rules of a foreign culture 8000 miles away.


"It is also white people who need to be empowered in relation to Tibetan people"

White people, even in Tibetan relations, are in a position of power. We have the right and ability to walk away at any time.


Finally, I want to put in a comment that wasn't posted here, but was posted on the original facebook thread, which unfortunately, T seems to have taken down.

He very specifically objected to the statement in the guidelines "Tibetans owe us nothing." I was actually so shocked by his statement that I copied what he wrote:

""remember Tibetans don't owe you anything". This, to me, revealed the basically racist and ethnocentric attitude of this blog. So, what, do we owe Tibetans something then?"
-Believing that Tibetans owe us something, while disregarding how we benefit from Tibetan suffering-
A commenter on the original thread responded to this by saying "And remember, Tibetans owe us nothing. If we decide to help Tibetan communities, we must do it solely out of our desire to help, not to get anything in return. Any other motive is an egotistical attempt for us to make ourselves into saviors." This goes back to the point that we, as outsiders, are forcing our way in. How can we believe that when we force our way into someone's life, even for what we believe are good reasons, they owe us something? Despite what T says earlier, its really us, the outsiders, who need to be altruistic.

As to how we benefit from Tibetan suffering, we constantly benefit from China's economic position, how many people don't save money by buying made in China products? In fact, our whole patterns of consumption, what kinds of goods even exist in the marketplace, have been determined by Chinese economic prominence in manufacturing!

More importantly, in the case of Dharma students (which T admits to being) we really benefit from the suffering of Tibetans! We continually benefit from the forced spread of Tibetan religion, which occurred when Tibet was occupied, forcing many great lamas into exile, such as the Dalai Lama. Without this, it's likely that we would never even know of Tibetan Buddhism. I say 'we' because it's important to call myself out on this one. I personally, have benefited a great deal from this since childhood. I wouldn't call myself a 'good' dharma student, but none the less, I would not have my religion, my teachers, or even my current job, were it not for Tibetan institutions being forced into exile by the Chinese.

This is just a sampling. I'd like to see what people have to say.

Help, my bingo card is overflowing on the first day!

Readers who don't get the title, click here.

Wow. Racism over Tibetans is a lot more intense and serious than I ever realized.

My impression before starting this blog was that the types and incidents of racism I'd be looking at would be mostly subtle, hard-to-pin-down things: systems of power and organization that exclude Tibetan leadership, well-intentioned outsiders too eager to be the principal spokespeople for Tibet, offensive words and phrases like “riots” and “ethnic Tibetans” which journalists always slip into their stories, and so on.

Yet within a few hours of publishing the OT's welcome post and commenting guidelines and having the it shared around on people's Facebook walls, the mere announcement of this blog prompted the following racist tirade. I've added boldface to highlight the points which strike me as most problematic and toxic.

Thanks for sharing this!

However I think that this blog perhaps starts out with a "Tibetans are superior, white people don't understand them, Tibetans can do no wrong" attitude. This is exactly the kind of reverse racist attitude (against your own culture) that is the MOST disempowering -- to non-Tibetans. Ultimately this attitude is not helpful to either western people or Tibetans as it creates a lot of false power structures where Tibetans are inherently superior. I thought this blog would be good, but I can see within reading it for 5 minutes of it that it is probably a Tibetan-apologist, white-man's guilt, Tibetans-are-superior forum. I was expecting something better. This is the kind of attitude I saw in your friend which I think is pretty counterproductive to everyone involved. Unfortunately the majority of the Dharma scene is also like this, as well as apparently much of the Tibetan rights' scene. What about criticizing the Tibetans for their rampant racism, constantly taking advantage of western people, hypocrisy, etc. etc.? I am all up for a forum on the mutual misunderstandings between western people and Tibetans, but this doesn't seem to be the right direction.

It may seem like I am exaggerating, but this really seems like the attitude of this blog. Ultimately it's talking about how Westerners are the ones making mistakes, how they make mistakes, etc. It is not talking about how Tibetans make mistakes in relation to Western people. And it seems to start out with the premise that how Tibetans make mistakes is irrelevant, and they are not to be held accountable for their actions. Why? Because they are an oppressed people? Because they don't have a country? Because WE are the one supposed to helping out THEM (even though they are supposed to be the ones with all the altruisim right?). None of these reasons stand to argument. Yes, as people who have received good educations and have grown up in a multi-cultural post-modern etc. world, we have a certain responsibility. But this does not excuse the Tibetans from their many many mistakes, harmful actions, ulterior motives, and blatant using of Western people which happens every day in a hundred different ways. Nor does our wish to help the Tibetans excuse us from our own excesses, our egotism, our own cultural presumptions. Better would be a forum to see the MUTUAL ways that Tibetans and Western people misunderstand eachother and behave problematically, because anyone who has been around Tibetans enough should know that both sides have a lot to learn, and no one should be exept from that very neccessary education.

Tibetans are very widely seen extremely idealistically, by the majority of the Western Tibetan Buddhist scene and it would seem also the Western Tibetan rights scene. This idealism make us subservient to the Tibetans and literally disempowers us. Learning about the good points of Tibetan culture, and trying to adapt them, is the way to go, not trying to become Tibetan, or acknowledging the false superiority of Tibetan culture. The Tibetans' racism, xenophobia, sense of cultural superiority, and most notably their almost inexcusable ignorance and lack of interest in other cultures and their politics is arguably what made them lose their country in the first place -- Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche and others have said this. Tibetans are quite prone to use Westerners for money in great variety of ways, and at this point this should be well known. Many Tibetan lamas, rinpoches, and monks basically are more concerned with making money than your enlightenment. Tibetans guys generally see Western girls as an easy f*ck and a passport/visa, Tibetan girls generally see Western guys as a passport/visa. They often see us as grotesque, totally ignorant about things like spirituality, and basically barbarians. Westerners are still very much enthralled by romantic notions of Tibet and Tibetans and are ripped off, scammed, broken hearted, insulted, and generally treated poorly by Tibetans every day. Tibetans often act with total disinterest to Westerners, not even showing the least amount of respect or politeness, unless of course you can become a sponsor, give them money in some way, teach them english, or help them with some political problem. Of course, I am talking about the worst cases here, but these worst cases are pretty common also, at least in the refugee community. I am not saying that Westerners are not really ignorant of Tibetan culture (we are, even those who are dedicated to helping Tibetans and are deeply involved in Tibetan Buddhism), but the Tibetans by constrast are just as much or even more ignorant of our culture and often do not attempt to understand it, either. I don't think that Tibetans are any better or worse than any other people, but that through their great traditions of Buddhism they have developed some good habits, and through their isolation and their refugee situation they have developed some bad ones.

Basically my point is that respect is a two way street. The Tibetans have helped out Westerners, and the Westerners have helped out Tibetans, but who has helped out who more, and who is really more open-minded? Do Tibetans start blogs about how to treat Western people appropriately? No. There is often an almost palpable sense of separation that Tibetan people distance themselves from Western people with. One is forced to ask oneself after a while, what the hell are these people's problems? With that said I love Tibetans and I think they produce some of the best people in the world. I also think that they are highly overrated, and the real issue needs to be what they need to do to enter the 21st century in a respectful and balanced way. Tibetans are the ones who need to reduce their racism, not white people (at least not the ones who are interacting with Tibetans, most of whom initially think they are all angels), I am sure of that point. It is also white people who need to be empowered in relation to Tibetan people, not the other way around. Tibetans often seem to think that it's ok to act almost any way they want with Western people and I think that this is because of years and years of people putting them on a pedestal and not holding them accountable. Perhaps I am unaware of certain dynamics that happen, but this is just based on my own personal experience. I realize that this is just one aspect of the whole spectrum but I also think what I'm saying is pretty valid and true. Hopefully both sides can learn how to act more appropriately and in a way that heightens understanding and communication.

I wish this were a hoax, but a friend who saw the thread on Facebook knows the author, a student of Tibetan language and classical translation living in India, and can vouch for the authenticity. What I've quoted here is only the beginning, the part the commenter cross-posted here on OT. All in all, the tirade came to about 6 single-spaced, narrow-font pages, and counting... (he still doesn't seem to have stopped adding points)

One commenter replied:

_______, you seemed to have a lot of chip on your shoulders. Maybe you should start your own blog about the racist Tibetans and they they've wronged you and your fellow white males. It really sounds like you need an outlet to vent about how bad it feels to loose the white privilege you've enjoy since birth. Maybe start a support group for all you "victims" of nasty Tibetan racism.

Another wrote:

_______, May be you should write a manual with illustrations for us Tibetans to learn etiquettes for pleasing the White Masters like yourself.

These commenters seem to have hit one of the biggest problematic themes, the concept of “reverse racism”. The idea that Tibetans are “supposed to be the ones with all this altruism” is also extremely problematic, especially in light of the author's question “Who has helped out who more?”

Beyond that I really don't know what to say. The rant speaks for itself. The big realization for me, and I hope for readers, is that there are white people thinking these ways, and thinking there's nothing wrong with it.